Coping Isn't the Goal

I’ve noticed something lately — both in myself and in the systems around me.

Mental health spaces are full of talk about coping. Strategies. Resilience. Stability. And while those things matter, they’re not the whole picture. In fact, sometimes they’re the very thing that gets in the way of what’s truly needed: emotional honesty.

I’ve spent a long time learning how to “get through it.” It’s what the system taught me — keep going, stay in control, feel things quietly (or not at all). Don’t cry at work. Don’t say too much. Don’t make it real. Just cope.

But what if coping isn’t healing?

What if staying contained isn’t the same as being well?

What if health isn’t about getting better at suppressing your truth, but about letting it live — gently, safely, in relationship?

This past week, I let someone see something real in me. It wasn’t dramatic — just a moment of emotional honesty in a system not designed to hold it. And even though it brought tears and discomfort, it also brought relief. It reminded me that feeling isn’t failure — it’s aliveness.