To Broken to Come Back

It has occured to me on some occasions that I may be 'To broken' to come back. This is at the same time a horrifying, defeating thought and also requires some breaking down to be fully understood. My initial thought about this is that I wonder what on earth it is im trying to get back to so badly? why do I feel like I need to be any different than I am in this present moment. The answer is inveriably that I feel at some level that the only way to exist or to be of use in society is to be 'normal'. To forget about everything that has happened and just present in a way which is acceptable to the majority. Is this the only way though? is the only valid way of existing to fit in? That got me thinking, perhaps its not. You may not beleive in a God and I am not suggesting you have to but I have found it helpful to beleive in a Higher Power. That Higher Power may well be a part of yourself. Each of us has a life path and if like mine your life path is to experience a mental health condition then is it not ok just to be this in a world where we increasingly respect each others differences? Perhaps 'coming back' is not the issue here. Perhaps being an authentic, real version of exactly who you are right now is enough.